To all those that left uni and felt lost… (or just generally
feeling a quarter life crisis coming on) this one is for you.
Heya all, long time no speak…
The last few months has been really hard. Like really hard. Everything’s
been new, challenging and generally just realigning (if that makes any sense) so
I apologise for my lack of posting but I’m hoping that this post will help some
people going though similar experiences to me. I have come out the other side
feeling as though a veil has been lifted from my eyes and I can really start to
see and work towards what I want my life to be.
I graduated University with a first degree in ecology and
wildlife conservation and I was ecstatic … but also scared. I have generally
really enjoyed my time at university and I have always enjoyed the structure
and learning that it brought to my life. I am a person that need tasks to tick
off and things to achieve to generally feel happy with my life so finishing
university with nothing planned next was daunting… to say the least!
I had naively presumed I would be able to get a lowish paid
job in something biology related but that proved to not be the case. I had
spent my time at university striving towards the best grades, working towards
extra awards and going on a placement to give myself the best chances post uni.
After graduation I spent months searching and applying to no avail. This was
the stage where I really started to worry and re-access my wants, needs and
future plans. Even from high school I remember thinking about graduating and how
great that would be and suddenly it was upon me and the ‘what now?’ set in. I
call this the start of my quarter life crisis which sounds way more dramatic
than it actually was. Basically it involved a few tears, coffee, endless Indeed
searches and a major hair cut….
I think its done me good to really realise that life isn’t a
chase to be ‘the best’ to be ‘successful’ and to reach certain milestones. The realisation
that I am a very small part of the universe and whatever happens as long as I’m
happy and with people around me that I love the rest is just ‘stuff’. Now this wasn’t
an overnight revelation. This took months of anger at myself for not getting
interviews to anger towards people for not giving me a chance to generally
feeling very lost as to what to do next. I realise that I am not alone in any
means by these feelings and the daunting reality of post uni life and what to
do with it!
So I sit here now in a flat that I moved into with my boyfriend
(EEEP IK) and thinking about my first day at a part time retail job that starts
tomorrow and seeing how far I have come since June. And maybe its cheesy to say
but I do feel like I have learnt more about myself over these past couple of
months than my whole time at university.
Now this is all very good me generally just chatting about
my problems but no ones read this far unless they are feeling similar things
themselves or are worrying about post uni life. Don’t worry, I have got you
covered. Lozzys tips to drag yourself out of post uni slump and into post uni
not so slump?:
1) Don't beat yourself up for not getting that interview. Don’t feel like you
are not good enough or that the world is being unfair (still have to remind
myself of that daily!) You don’t need a titled position in order to be happy. Be
kind to yourself. This is a hard time for many people as the realisation that
your whole adulthood is laid out in front of you with a big fat ‘?’ over it is terrifying.
2) Be honest with yourself. I spent the first
month applying for jobs I didn’t want but applied to anyway because they were
related to my study field. I felt pressure to get a job within my field
otherwise I felt like my degree was for nothing and that I had wasted money and
time. This both made me feel flat and also bitter disappointment when I didn’t hear
back. I really discovered what I actually want to do was different from what I was
originally telling myself I wanted. I had denied myself these feelings as I was
aiming for pride and high pay… but in the short term not great way.
3) Fill your days. Don’t spend all day dwelling on
what you think should have been and instead go for walks, see family, go for
coffee, just get OUT. Filling the days helped me to feel happier within myself
and more settled.
4) It takes time. Maybe it will take a year to find
that job. Maybe you need to take an in between job to keep you ticking on by.
Maybe it will take a year or two worth of volunteering but you will get there. And
if not then so be it. Maybe you will discover something else that you are more passionate
about or fall into a job you end up loving. Don’t try and control the world.
So basically to round off this post… don’t fight against yourself
and the world, it will beat you down. Be kind to yourself and feel proud with
where you are at. Baby steps yall.
Hope you are all well,
Much love,
Lozzy xxx
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